Feel Again
by charmed-seconds
Summary: Arthur took Merlin's soul and heart to Avalon. He just forgot the body. Now, he was forced to walk among love, hate, sadness, joy while he felt nothing but hollowness. (Established Merthur; Reborn!Arthur; Immortal!Merlin)


**Author's Note : **Thanks for reading and for all reviews/favs!

**Inspired From : **_Feel Again _by OneRepublic

**Disclaimer : **Author doesn't own neither song or Merlin. All rights owned to their respected owners. Thank you.

* * *

**Feel Again**

Years have trickled by. Camelot fell centuries ago – his friends and family long perished and now dust. Flame turned to steam then electricity. Horses became railroads and then automobiles. The world was so different from the one Merlin was initially born into. Cites went from hundreds to millions in populations; but yet the feeling of utter loneliness hasn't change just because more souls walked beside him on the streets.

In his youth, it was because of an absent father that made children run from him. When he moved to Camelot, it was the threat of death if he allowed just one person into his heart. The one time he did allow a person – beautiful Freya with so much liveliness with in her soul and spirit – she was ripped away from him in a matter of hours from feeling complete. Friends surrounded him but the shroud of always hiding made him feel as if they were interacting with a puppet and not Merlin. Now, in a time of technology where a mere call could connect people separate by oceans and miles, he didn't have anyone to live for.

The one he lived for was gone.

Merlin was merely existing.

Not living.

Not feeling.

He tried to give his heart to others; but their kisses were ice and their touches cold. His heart pumped but gave no soul to him.

Arthur took Merlin's soul and heart to Avalon.

He just forgot the body.

Now, he was forced to walk among love, hate, sadness, joy while he felt nothing but hollowness.

* * *

When he saw the sun rise, it gave no lurch that today would be the day that his heart would return. He merely sighed and returned to his book. He would have to wait for a few more hours before the shops started opening up. He needed a few things and in the midst of night – sleep only came to him every few days when his body could no longer hold him up – he ran out of novels to read.

It was soft. No louder than a pin dropping; but it tore Merlin's attention from the words in front of him.

Glancing up, his breath caught.

Hovering in front of the window, a bright red – too bright to be mundane – butterfly fluttered in the air. He put down his book and slowly made his way across his living room. He hoped that this wasn't some cruel trick that fate had decided to play on him. He prayed that the Goddess and God have finally given mercy to their immortal overseer.

Slowly, he opened the window and the butterfly drew closer. With a shaky hand, he extended a finger. It flew around the appendage before drifting downward.

Merlin stared at the butterfly for what seemed like hours. Glancing upward, he whispered his gratitude before sprinting out of the apartment.

* * *

The Lake of Avalon was just another lake to everyone who lived beside it; but to Merlin, it was his last link to the world he grew up in and to his salvation. He didn't care he was running down the street in a ratty old t-shirt or plaid pajamas bottoms. He merely urged his feet to go fast. In minutes, he found himself standing on the shore of the Lake. Water nipped at his toes and breaths were torn from his chest.

Looking over the lake, he frowned when he saw no ripples or waves. It was calm and perfect, like it has been every day since Arthur's death. Merlin closed his eyes and cursed. A brief spark of something akin to anger erupted in his chest before it was quickly snuffed. He looked out at the water with dull eyes.

"Behind you, idiot."

Merlin's breath caught. Slowly, he looked over his shoulder and froze.

Standing in a pair of dark blue jeans and a footie jersey stood Arthur. Blond hair that was just as bright as it was in the years of Camelot. Blue eyes that were just as compassionate and alive when they laid in bed side-by-side speaking of a kingdom that would flourish. "H-How?"

"Reborn twenty years ago," Arthur explained, "Memories came back in dreams. My father thought I was absolutely crazy when I spoke of dragons and magic." Arthur chuckled softly and slowly came closer, "When I got older, I pieced the pieces together. I thought I was alone, the only one reborn."

Merlin licked his lips and glanced down, "But the Lake."

"Merely a resting place for my first life. The Fates thought if we were reborn, we would be more acclimated to modern life and of better use than a resurrected King and knights from the medieval period."

Merlin felt his head snap up, "Knights?"

"Most of them." Arthur answered, gesturing back towards the road with his head, "We're still missing Lancelot and Elyan; but, we're assuming that we'll find them together along with Gwen."

Merlin felt his legs give out. He felt some wet fall from his eyes. With a shaky hand, he touched his cheeks. "I'm…crying?"

Arthur knelt in front of Merlin, his eyes wide in fright, "Merlin? What's wrong? Why are you crying? What happened?"

Merlin shook his head, "I-I don't know."

Arthur frowned, "Merlin. What happened after I died? Where did you go? What did you do?"

"I…existed." Merlin whispered, "Emrys…that's what the druids called me. They spoke as if it was a title that I should hold with honor but yet they were really speaking of my curse."

"Emrys." Arthur repeated, "What are you talking about, Merlin?"

"Immortal. That's what Emrys means in English." Merlin looked up at Arthur, "I'm not reborn, Arthur. I've been here, waiting for you since the day I sent your body to the Lake of Avalon all those years ago."

Merlin watched as Arthur's eyes eased close and a long, shuddering breath left his body quivering. Merlin couldn't help but flinch when he felt Arthur's hands – no longer calloused from years of wielding a sword – cup his face. "I'm sorry you've have to endure so long with no one beside you, Love." Arthur whispered, his forehead resting upon Merlin, "My precious little bird. I dreamt of you as a teenager. The one that always stood beside me, guiding me, making me strong while you hid in the shadows. You were my light in Camelot and every day, I longed to be in your aura and arms once more."

Merlin closed his eyes, "I missed you so much, Arthur. Years, war, genocide, all of it and you weren't there. I felt as if I was a corpse walking among life. Alone. Cold. Forgotten."

Arthur's thumbs wiped away Merlin's tears, "No longer will you live that way." Arthur vowed before placing his lips upon Merlin's.

It was chaste. More of a mere brush of lips than a kiss; but for Merlin, it was all he needed. Warmth erupted from his chest. Anger, joy, sadness, lust, love spread throughout his body. "Arthur," Merlin sobbed, his hands frantically clutching Arthur's shirt.

"Shh, I'm here." Arthur soothed, "Shh."

Using his hands, Merlin cupped Arthur's face like his was moments ago. "I live." Merlin whispered before pulling his King closer, ready to feel the warmth again and to once again, unite Albion under a banner of prosperity.


End file.
